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| Two Children |
| Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying
very loudly. 2nd Child: Why are you crying? 1st Child : I came here for blood test. 2nd Child: So? Are you afraid? 1st Child : No. Not that,but For the blood test, they cut my finger. At this, the second one started crying. The first one was astonished. 1st Child : Why are you crying now? 2nd Child: I have come for my urine test! |
| The Therapist |
| A man walked into a therapists office looking very depressed,
"Doc, you've got to help me.I can't go on like this. What's the problem?" the doctor inquired. "Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away." "My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll have women buzzing all around you." The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face. "Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor. "It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women." "So, what's your problem?" "I don't have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does." |
| The Grounded Conductor |
|
Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad,
and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking, "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?" Tom says, "I would switch one train to another track." "What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector. "I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual lever," answers Tom. "What if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges the inspector. "Then," Tom continues, "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box." "What if the phone was busy?" "In that case," Tom argues, "I'd run to the street level and use the public phone near the station". "What if that had been vandalized?" "Oh, well," says Tom, "in that case I'd run into town and get my Uncle Leo." This puzzles the inspector, so he asks, "Why would you do that?" "Because he's never seen a train crash." |
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